Beetle Pizza?

It was your typical bizarre day in the Neitherworld, but something was more bizarre than usual. Someone had stolen money from all of the banks. The culprits were Jesse Germs, Bully the Crud, Scuzzo the Clown, and the Black Cat Burglar. "We must escape the scene of the crime. This cat doesn't want to do any time", said the cat burglar. "I'm almost finished planting the evidence that will frame Beetlejuice!" While saying this, Scuzzo watered a potted plant that grew into a framed picture of Beetlejuice.

The four felons ran off and laughed evilly. The evidence was found by the police, and the crime was on the news in nothing flat. "This is Cleat Deeply filling in for Tentacle-Legs Something-or-Other to tell you that all the banks of the Neitherworld have been cleaned out!" Footage was shown of a bank having all of its contents swept out with a broom.

"As usual, the blame is on that Ghost with the Most we all despise- Beetlejuice!" Beetlejuice's family was watching the news report at home. "Beetlejuice, what kind of prison did you send our enemies to last time we tangled with them", Lydia asked in a most scornful tone. "I dunno, Lyds. It said its bars were made by the Sloppy Fingers Steel Mill." "Beetlejuice, the Sloppy Fingers Steel Mill is the Neitherworld's most inefficient steel mill! The Mayor made you in charge of deciding what to do with the ones who are worse than you are! He could have sent you to Sandworm Land if he had the chance!"

"Chill out, babes", Beetlejuice said as he turned into a snowman. "I only took the job because I'd get paid to mess with people who want me deader than dead! Not to mention the fact that it got Dad off my back about getting a job!" When Beetlejuice said "getting a job", his face and voice briefly changed to match those of his father. You can flog me for not leaving anything to your imagination later.

"We have to fix this mess, BJ! And to make it clear, this will be the last time I'm bailing you out of your own troubles! I expect to see you take responsibilities for your own actions after this mess is straightened out." "I hear you loud and clear, Lyds. Should I go with or stay here with the kids?" "Okay, fine. We'll get Jacques and Ginger to look after Cockroach, Locust, and Pillbug."

Lydia and Beetlejuice went to New York in the world of the living, where they went to a certain firehouse. Lydia read the note left on the front door. "Out busting a Class 9 Vaporous Phantasm in an obscure European country. Please leave your name, address, and haunting problem on a Post-It Note. Sincerely, Dr. Raymond Stantz."

Lydia groaned in annoyance. "It seems we'll have to search other heroes in this place." "But who else can we turn to, Lyds?" "New York is one of the most heavily populated cities in America, and it has a high crime rate, so there has to be a lot of active crime-fighters. And we know of another bizarre team living here. Remember that hostage incident?"

"Oh, no! Don't tell me we're looking for those Adolescent Mutant Samurai Lizards, or whatever they call themselves!" "Yes, we have to turn to them because the writer of this fan fiction thinks putting Beetlejuice and TMNT together can make a winning combination."

"I wouldn't blame the writer of this fic", said Beetlejuice. "It would be cool to see what hijinks the Ghost with the Most can pull on the Heroes in a Half-Shell! It might be easier, though, to meet them in the same place at the same time."

Scuzzo and his cohorts overheard them and laughed evilly. "I'll get your wish, Beetlejuice, by paying a visit to a certain ninja master in bladed armor!" At the Technodrome, Tokka and Rahzar were ordering Bebop and Rocksteady to clean the mess they made spilling ice cream. "Keep on scrubbing, you dunderheads", growled Rahzar. "Masters Shredder and Krang want this place clean for the next time the Technodrome rises!"

"But how come we got to do all the work", asked Bebop. "Because we are smarter than you, you incompetent idiots! A dozen times this weak, you were outsmarted by not only those Turtles but also their fruit-bearing spouses!" "Lay offa us, Tokka", whined Rocksteady. "Just because they're preggo doesn't mean they're helpless!" "You call that an excuse? They've only got less than four months to go", roared Rahzar.

Scuzzo and his gang barged into the room. "Excuse me, you four eyesores, but we're looking for your boss. We need his help in defeating a certain Ghost with the Most." "I am the Shredder! Who is this Ghost with the Most that you speak of?" "His name is Beetlejuice", explained Jesse Germs. "If you can help us stop him, we'll help you stop those Turtles you hate so much!"

"Good", the Shredder cackled. "What are your suggestions?" "We have a formula for a zombie potion", said Bully the Crud. "Follow it exactly and you will be able to turn every deadbeat in New York City into a zombie! A zombie that is completely mindless and bound by your commands!"

The Shredder liked the idea. He read the formula as Krang followed its instructions. "In a large cauldron, boil the following ingredients: The toe of a frog, the eyes of a spider, a smashed millipede, and half a can of any soft drink. Half a can of any soft drink?" "Don't question the ingredients", barked the Black Cat Burglar. "It works, you, uh, dingredient!"

"Will you just cool it with the rhymes already! It's running me ragged!" After Scuzzo made his complaint, he suddenly wore rags and ran across the room endlessly. He began panting "When the potion is complete, you must go to the center of the city, announce your conquest, and pour the solution on the ground!"

The Shredder did the announcement part, but decided to wait. "Shredder, why are you not dropping the potion yet?" "I wish to raise my army of the undead when the Turtles get here, Krang. They must witness the final destruction of New York's people at the hands of me, Oroku Saki! The Shredder!"

The Turtles and their family ran into Beetlejuice and Lydia. "Mondo weird", cried Michelangelo. "You two look very familiar!" "We should. Remember the time your sister was held hostage?" "Yes, we remember that day, and if it weren't for your assistance, she and her unborn babies wouldn't be alive today", said Leonardo.

"This may be a bad time", asked Beetlejuice as he turned into a devil and checked his wristwatch, "but we need your help to prove that I didn't rob any Neitherworld banks. The only money I get I either earn for juicing crooks or pilfer from the fools that I scam." "That will have to wait later, Mr. Juice", said Leonardo. "Right now the Shredder plans to turn all of New York into a zombie."

"Cool", said Beetlejuice. Lydia gave him a fierce glare. "By which I mean, that is terrible. Is there anything we can do to help?" "You can use your juice on old Shredhead", said Raphael. "It's showtime!"

Beetlejuice snapped his fingers and grabbed the bucket of zombie potion. He gulped the whole thing down and let out a loud belch. "Ew", groaned Venus. Panicked, the Shredder tried to use his bladed gauntlets on BJ, but to no avail. "I will clean your clock, apparition!" "No thanks. Dirty clocks are just the way I like them! Arridiverci, Don Limo!" Beetlejuice zapped Shredder and turned him into a limousine. BJ then pushed Krang into the back seat and drove the limo all the way back to the Technodrome before letting go of the wheel and letting them crash. "Curse those turtles and curse that smelly ghost", yelled the Shredder as Krang picked up his pieces.

"Okay, we'll solve your problems now", said Slash. "But only because we have to stop dragging April and Casey into our missions all the time. They can't just leave their babies to sitters all the time!" "What do you think Lyds and I did with our children?" Michelangelo was squicked. "First of all, the point is our friends have had to leave their babies Sid and Shadow a lot because they've had to help us on our missions. Second of all, are you telling me that you...and this goth chick....got together and--"

"Excuse me, but do I ever bother you about the fact that you're a turtle married to a fox? I don't think so! Come to think of it, your sister's the only one who's married to her own kind! Not that I'm against mixed marriages, of course. Let's just move on with this crummy story and prove to the Neitherworld I didn't steal any money!"

Our heroes landed in the backyard of the Monster Across the Street. "What in tar-hooties?! I ought to grab Beetlejuice by the neck and punch him so hard that he'll be flying through space! Huh? Oh, pardon me, missies. I didn't see any of you five around these parts. And congratulations!" "What....was....that", asked Mona Lisa. "Oh, that's the Monster Across the Street. He doesn't really care for anybody in this neighborhood, but he has a hidden heart of gold and his own Monstress."

Jesse Germs, Bully the Crud, Scuzzo, and the Black Cat Burglar all stood before our heroes. "We're going to drain you of all your juice, Beetlejuice! Then everyone will be able to put you in the Big House! You're a wanted man!" "We won't let you frame my father", said Cockroach Juice. "I'll cut you down to size!" Cockroach Juice turned into a chainsaw and lunged himself at the four felons, scaring them. "C'mon, turtle dudes! I can't hog all the fun!"

Leonardo used his katanas to cut off Jesse Germs' arms. Raphael pinned Bully the Crud with his sai. Donatello hit the Black Cat Burglar in the face with his bo staff. Lastly, Michelangelo did his part by unleashing his hot nunchuck fury on Scuzzo. "Confess to the crimes and say Beetlejuice is innocent", said Slash. "Or else what", asked Scuzzo. "Or else we'll have to kill you! Again!" "And it isn't an empty threat, either", said Venus.

"Okay, we'll confess! Just let us afterlive!" "See you around, Beetlejuice", said Leonardo. "We got to get back in New York so we can resume kicking butt and awaiting the next generation." "May we cross paths at a better time", said Splinter.

The End